I was taken by surprise and on a journey back in time recently, having woken early one morning. I found myself gazing at the turquoise velvet curtains hanging in my bedroom. I was seeing shapes and faces in the sheen and fall of the draped fabric. It brought me back to my childhood bedroom which I shared with my older sister. I spent many a night cringing at the dark, dreary, purple, wine, black and grey curtains, which frightened me so. They were home to witches and demons. From my bottom bunk I would see those faces lurking in the shadows and I felt a little trapped as the bed was close to the wall but there was a gap which was an equally scary place, dark and damp. I learned to turn my back on this side of the bed and face the brightness on the other side of the room. Life lesson learned aged 7. Tick.
Looking back, I can observe from this that I was a sensitive child who became a sensitive adult. I saw things that not everyone saw. I experienced the world from a different angle very often. There was a profound difference between my take on things and that of my siblings. I am finding the true value and significance of childhood experiences and memories now that I am in my 40's. I never particularly focused on this until recently. But these are the foundations of my artwork today. My desire to distort real life things and beings and to make them abstract in my own way is strong. I often use a real life reference image and squint my eyes to see the basic shapes clearly and break it down into its raw state. I even get annoyed at myself if what I want to paint comes out too realistic looking. Paint over the canvas and start again. Only by continuing this process and repeating can I achieve the most pared back image I am looking for.
I wish to simplify the skill of painting for others. My workshops - COW MARTS & POULTRY PARTIES - are my way of doing this. Spreading my love for painting, colours, shapes and animals to others is a hugely satisfying experience for me. I see the joy that people experience when they realise they too can paint and create something they love and are proud to show to others. As much as I love to be alone and lose myself in my studio I equally benefit from sharing my passion with others. By sharing I have learned to appreciate my particular skills more. It's a really nice thing.
I'm not sure this piece has structure but it is a personal milestone for me to share my thoughts and desires with you. I suppose what I'm saying is that finding your passion is vital and it is often rooted in the simplest childhood things, which are often overlooked. Remember to let your imagination run wild. Say what you need to say. Feel what you feel. It's all ok. It's all part of what makes you you. Only as much as you dream can you be. I'm thinking this is an Eleanor Roosevelt quote but my memory for such details is very poor. Too much time spent nourishing my imagination no doubt. 
Thanks for reading. KiKi xx

Leave a comment