Janey!....where would ya start? I'm writing this because I can't paint today....apparently. This is often the case on a Monday I have noticed. A psychological throwback to school days perhaps.
So, there is and has been a chickstorm going on within me....my paintings so far this year have been plucked out of me on my good days....gulls, peeps, abstracts, bears, chickens and I'm starting city-skipping pigeons now.
I have absolutely zero structure in the studio. A mirror image of how I feel my personal life is currently panning out...some days anyhow. I get up in the morning with the hope of painting. The desire to create something to make someone smile. I have an innate need to produce. Two voices in my head: "Paint for fun!" " Paint to sell!"
I can't stand that ongoing conflict. It is about holding your head in a time of stress. The same as every situation I have experienced in life. Hold your head. Steady. It will pass. Phew!
Completely regurgitating what I am feeling, the same as I do with my paintings. I am allowing myself more and more to regurgitate on canvas. No staying between the lines. Not having picture perfect brush strokes always. Randomness. Freedom. I think so at least. It's very much a learning curve, growing my style. I even hold my brush differently when I'm loose....gives me less control so I am open to visual errors....a slip of the brush here or there.
Music has been a great crutch to lean on during this time. It absolutely affects how and what I paint. For instance, this painting, 'BEAUTY QUEENS' was painted to Taylor Swift's BLANK SPACE, WILDEST DREAMS, OUT OF THE WOODS, on a loop. I had started it probably two years ago, when my daughter and her friends took to contour make-up. Skin tone colours. Flesh tinted chickies. When I took the half-painted canvas out two days ago I saw depressed looking, muted and mutated chickens, resigned to a life of accepting the mundane. They had been set against a stormy blue background which had dominated the mood. I knew instinctively this was wrong. Bright and cheery turquoise would have to happen. I had to finish what I started. I had to bring these girls to their full potential. Fix them up. Put their faces on. Enter Taylor Swift. A good kick in the ass of upbeat pop music with a gob of red lipstick. The chicks came alive to the music and demanded handbags and knickers as the painting continued. Finally they would be fit for a night on the tiles.
No blog is complete without some hard hitting numbers. My son compiled the stats for me yesterday....Out of 24 chicks on a night out, 37.5% bring a handbag and rather shockingly, a mere 12.5% wear knickers. Random. But good to know.